I hope no one thinks my blogs are me just moaning about everything and anything… they sort of are, but this one is definitely necessary! It’s about my parents once again (mainly my dad really). I think the hardest part about parents separating isn’t them not being together, it’s when they start seeing other people and forming new “friendships” and relationships. I don’t know if I will ever be completely ok with my parents being with anyone other than each other. But I do know it is probably going to happen at some point.. I just didn’t think it would be so soon. My dad has recently decided, probably for the first time in years, that he is going to be honest with people. By people I mean my sister and I. He has dropped the bombshell that he is seeing someone new. His exact words were “getting to know her”. I’m not really surprised to be honest. He doesn’t really think of other people’s feelings before doing things but anyway…. I really want to be happy for him and obviously I want him to be happy but a huge part of me is really angry with him. I mean, yeah, I appreciate his honesty but it just feels too soon, for me to accept it anyway. During the time that he and my mum had their problems, they both kind of lost their way and lost who they actually were as individual people. They both, in my opinion, need time to figure out who they are as individual people again and not as a couple. Being together since they were only 17, they don’t really know anything else, other than being with each other. So instead of jumping into new relationships, they should, again in my opinion, perhaps, discover themselves, try new things, go to new places and focus on themselves and building up their relationships with their children again (as they really have pushed everyone away over the past 2 years). Now back to my dad and this new woman…. he has met her child.. that makes me uncomfortable. She knows who I am and who my brother and sister are. I’m not alright with that. It may sound so childish for a 22 year old but I don’t want someone new worming their way into my life and knowing things about me.. for example, wishing me a HAPPY BIRTHDAY ON FACEBOOK.. FACEBOOK! My mum will see that and I can’t imagine how that would make her feel. Some random woman sending me birthday wishes for everyone to see. No. That is not cool. My dad has been the main cause for our family splitting up, yes, I know, it takes two but he cheated. He broke everyone’s hearts. It may sound harsh, but he doesn’t deserve to be happy yet when everyone else is still hurting from what he has done. My mum has moved out from our family home, she is now living with my younger brother in a small flat in a rubbish area, just to make things easier for my dad, and she will continue to make things easier for him because she still loves him. Her whole live had changed, her world turned upside down and she is broken. I don’t know her anymore (I don’t know who my dad is either). He is doing the typical man thing and pushing people away.. pretending that everything is fine and as if nothing has happened. He is distancing himself from everyone. Including my mums family, who are, for some reason, still reaching out to my dad, still wanting him in their lives because that is the kind of people they are. Big-hearted, caring, amazing people and he is still pushing them further away. He should be grateful that they still want him to be part of their family, shouldn’t he?! Everything, right now, is all about my dad (as usual) and his new life. This new woman comes first. Before everything & everyone. And I’m not allowed to be angry about it? Nah, that’s not right. Is it? I really do want both my parents to be happy.. preferably together, but if they do end up being happy with other people then fair enough but it doesn’t mean I have to be ok with it, surely? Maybe in a few years? but not yet.
Please share your own experiences & help me again with your great advice on this!
Thanks for reading & listening to my rambling once again!